So this is how it begins?
by TheLIAF
Summary: Well, this series has been in the making for about two years now. It starts off as a bunch of bloopers my friend and I wrote, but then becomes a bunch of short stories. Kinda like a sitcom, hope you have as much fun reading these, as we did writing them.
1. It all starts with bloopers

Disclaimer: Christino and Izzy only own the characters: Steve, Walter, Harold, and Guy with Hat.

Bios:

Ellie: The mammoth who thought she was a possum for most of her life until she met Manny and had a kid named Peaches. Through out most of the series, she has a crush on Steve, a blue mammoth.

Crash: The daredevil possum who loves to prank people with his brother and play CoD. That's about it.

Eddie: The possum living in Crash's shadow with less impressive stunts and pranks, but actually has a higher IQ.

Steve: A blue mammoth the herd randomly encountered after the events of Ice Age: The Meltdown. Steve is the popular, funny, and fun-to-be-with guy. Though he doesn't say it, he does like Ellie…just a bit.

Diego: A fierce saber tooth tiger with a passion for baking. He is usually the level headed one in the herd.

Manny: "Leader" of the herd, eats everything, dumb as a rock, and constantly made fun of by the rest of the herd. That about sums it up in a nut shell.

Buck: The EXTREME one, likes to do EXTREME things. That is all.

Peaches: The overly intelligent one with an attitude. She is considered a nerd by most of the herd, but does show her fun side every once in a while.

Sid: The one that's constantly picked on…comic relief every once in a while.

Walter: The human filming all the things the herd goes through, does not make an official appearance until season 2.

Guy with Hat: Also known has GWH, is a vendor selling random things, at random times.

Harold: Peaches' estranged younger brother, does not appear much, and is slightly emo.

Izzy: Co- Creator of the IA: Bloopers/ Life and times of, writer.

Christino: Co- Creator of the IA: Bloopers/ Life and times of, writer.

Either "bloopers" or " The Life and times of" will be written before to indicate what the following will be about.

**Bloopers:**  
Ellie: WATERMELON!  
Director: CUT! Ellie that's not in the script!  
Ellie: I actually want a fruit cocktail you know.  
Crash (off stage): Gustav! Hey can we get a fruit cocktail here?  
Eddie: Are we still filming?  
Sid: Has anyone seen my maracas?  
Diego: Ask Manny.  
Manny (with maracas in mouth): What? I'm hungry ok!  
Buck: What else is new?  
Peaches (looks at camera): You probably should have stopped filming.

Crash: Ladies first.  
Eddie: Age before beauty.  
Crash: Uhh...LINE!  
Eddie: No pain. No gain.  
Crash: WTF I wouldn't say that! You're just trying to screw me over because mom liked me better!  
Ellie (from the background): No actually I was the favourite.  
Crash: That might be true but I got more candy than you and Eddie!  
Eddie: Because mom felt bad that you got dad's stupidity.  
Crash: DID NOT! I am a genius. G-E-N-I-O-S!  
Peaches: Actually that's not how you spell it.  
Crash: SHUT UP PEACHES OR I'LL TELL YOUR FRIENDS THAT MANNY'S YOUR FATHER!  
Peaches: I'll be good.

3.  
Manny: Nobody move a muscle.  
Crash: For you, try not to jiggle your fat!  
Manny: Shut up!  
Screaming Guy: UHHHHH...LINE!  
Director: Ahhhhhhhhhhh.  
Screaming Guy: !  
Director: That's good… But we weren't filming.  
Screaming Guy: Damn.  
Crash: EDDIE! I CAN'T HEAR ANYONE!  
Eddie: ME NEITHER! CALL A MEDIC!  
Peaches: You guys are wearing ear plugs.  
Crash & Eddie: SHUT UP!


	2. Bloopers during the filming

Buck: I call him...RUDY..  
Manny: OH that's great but I thought you would come up with something scary like...Eggbert ...or Sheldon.  
Buck: Well can you do better fatso?  
Manny: I'm not fat! I'm big boned!  
Buck: NAH! You're huge boned!  
Director: CUT! Buck that's a terrible name ...I'll get Izzy to change it right away and Manny you're fat so shut up! You're lucky to be in the movie!  
Ellie:OUCH!  
Crash: He had it coming...I mean eating 7 meals a day?  
Eddie: I hope he gets a stroke!  
Crash: Me too Eddie. Me too.  
Peaches: You know that's my dad you're talking about.  
Sid: Yeah. Your birth dad... your real daddyo. ALL YOURS!  
Peaches (sobbing): Don't be like that!

Manny: I think we should call her Ellie.  
Peaches: ELLIE! ...OH that's smart...look at the cute family: Ellie, Manny and Ellie! Do the world a favour father and go kill yourself!  
Ellie: I got a better name...Peaches.  
Peaches: PEACHES! Are you trying to make me an outcast? What's going to happen when I'm as old as the Fat One! Will Peaches still be cute? Just because you gave up your life doesn't mean you should give up mine!  
Manny: Peaches...I love it!  
Peaches: Well that means I hate it!  
Director: Calm down kid.  
Peaches: NO i always take abuse from Uncle Crash so screw it!  
Director: That's it I'm coming over there!  
Peaches: MOMMY SAVE ME!

Crash: How much do you think Manny weighs?  
Eddie: I'll bet $10 he's 10 000 pounds.  
Buck: I'll bet $10 he's 60 000.  
Diego: I'll bet $30 Manny's gay.  
Crash: Come on man! Unfair bet!  
Ellie: What are you guys doing?  
Eddie: Betting on Manny's weight.  
Crash: GOD EDDIE! Way to keep it secret!  
Ellie: I'll bet $10 he's 300 000 000 pounds.  
Diego: That's not fair! You've been close to him!  
Buck: Well I guess we need someone to find out.  
Crash: PEACHES! Go find out Manny's weight.  
Peaches: But he's fat!  
Crash: You owe me kid...I stole that candy.  
Peaches (walks away muttering): Hey dad! How much do you weigh? It's for a ...math...project.  
Manny: Don't tell anyone but 350 000 000 pounds.  
Ellie: Fork it over!


	3. Things happening outside of the movie?

To answer some questions, no, besides the fact that this is based off of Ice Age, all these stories belong 100% to Izzy and Christino A.K.A TheLIAF

Note: Eventually the bloopers run out and it becomes short stories ( I believe there's only about 23 bloopers and a whole lot of stories) Thanks for the reviews guys!

Ellie: Do my ankles look fat?  
Manny: Ankles? What ankles?  
Ellie: Manny do you enjoy living?  
Crash: HELL YOU MARRIED HIM!  
Ellie: But that was the day you, me, Eddie and Diego got high on those drugs Scrat sold us!  
Director: YOU GUYS DID WHAT? AND WHERE WAS I!  
Manny: But Ellie you said you were buying tacos for me!  
Ellie: Well I was until I ran into Scrat!

9.  
*Ellie, Crash and Eddie slide down dino.*  
*Diego slides down dino. *  
*Manny slides down dino and breaks its neck.*  
Ellie (runs to dino): OH YOU POOR POOR SOUL!  
Manny: What about me?  
Crash: Your fat broke your fall.

10.  
Diego: OW! My toes are burning baby! I gotta tip toe. Gotta tip toe. Gott- *trips down cliff* Son of a!  
Director: CUT! Damn it Diego! Are you ok?  
Diego: I think I broke something.  
Director: Snap. Well everyone take 5.  
Ellie (watching ice age 2): Do u think I look fat in this movie?  
Crash: Totally.  
Ellie: Shut up Hairy Mc I wet the bed.  
Crash: YOU SWORE YOU WOULD NEVER TELL.  
Ellie: =]  
Eddie: Pass the popcorn.  
Buck: Sorry mate. Manny ate it all.  
Camera goes to Connor.  
Peaches: Wrong guy. But its a common mistake.

11.  
Manny: They're sweet and round and fuzzy...just like you.  
Ellie: You think I'm round...but your shadow causes night!  
Crash (walks up randomly): Dude, where's my car?  
Eddie: WHAT!  
Crash: My toy car...it's gone.  
Manny (chewing): It's a mystery.

12.  
Buck: He who has gas travels at the back of the pack.  
*everyone looks at Eddie*  
Eddie: What are you looking at me for? I'm crash!  
Manny: I think I'm smart enough to tell you guys apart (looks at Diego)...isn't that right Peaches?  
Director: You guys are hilarious...keep going  
Ellie: God everything is a fudging blooper with you people! We have lives you know and…  
Director: Ok fine back to the scene...hey Christino can you try to focus the camera off manny?  
Christino: But but but he's so fat...IT'S JUST SO HARD!


	4. Steve is mentioned Oo

This is where the bloopers begin to develop more, and things outside of the movie are added. AKA STEVE. XD ( Not Official appearance)

Crash: Dude you sound ridiculous!  
Eddie (without high voice): DUDE! wait...my high device is broken!  
Director: CUT! Who skimped out on the high!  
Peaches: Me?  
Director: WHY WERE YOU TOUCHING THE HIGH DEVICE?  
Peaches: I thought it would make me fly.  
Buck: You're the daughter of Manny. You can't fly.  
Crash: Low blow dude.  
Ellie: You were the one watching her Crash.  
Crash: NO ...Eddie was!  
Eddie: Don't drag me down with you man!  
Crash: It was...Manny!  
Eddie: TOTALLY!  
Manny: Dude I was eating breakfast!  
Sid: At 12:30?  
Manny: It was a big breakfast.  
Diego: What else is new? and Manny don't say dude you ruin it!  
Ellie: You told me you were exercising on the jumbo treadmill I gave you for Christmas!  
Manny: I lied...  
Peaches: Why the hell are you still filming?  
Camera Guy: This makes a good blooper..  
Peaches: You think our personal life is a blooper?  
Camera Guy: Well...yeah  
Buck: I'll take that as a compliment!

Diego: I feel tingly.  
Manny: Don't say that.  
Crash: Diego's first gay experience.  
Eddie: Manny's tenth.  
Director: CUT! Damn it he's not gay he's got a kid!  
Manny: YEAH!  
Ellie: Adopted.  
Peaches: I'm ADOPTED! THANK YOU JESUS!  
Ellie: You think i would...with...I'M OFFENDED!  
Crash: Ellie's very picky about the people she even talks to. Example: Hey Ellie!  
Ellie: Go away Crash!  
Diego: You*BEEP* I'm still in the plant! It burns!  
Director: Calm down it's just Holy Water!  
Ellie: Oh no Diego!  
Manny: I'm your husband!  
Ellie: Actually I was gonna talk to you about that...I got a divorce 5 months ago  
Buck: I saw it coming.  
Crash: Who didn't?  
Peaches: Manny...  
Manny: But how come you stayed with me?  
Ellie: The kid.

Ellie: Manny? Crash? Eddie? Buck? Sid? Diego? Le Frog? Mr. Bean?  
Director: CUT! Ellie? WTF?  
Ellie: I panicked! I make rash decisions when I panic!  
Crash: That explains the marriage.  
Eddie: And the kid.  
Peaches: Excuse me! But I was planned!  
Sid: And how I lost my maracas!  
Diego: But Manny ate them.  
Sid: Manny cause by Ellie.  
Diego: WHAT!  
Sid: Have you seen my maracas!  
Diego: Screw you I want to hear more rumours!  
Crash: I heard that Manny ate the last copy of IA2  
Eddie: I heard that Peaches changed her name to Harold.  
Sid: I heard I lost my maracas!

16.  
Buck: Well a fat guy, 2 idiots, an old saber tooth and a pregnant mammoth...interesting.  
Crash: HEAR THAT EDDIE! he called you a pregnant mammoth  
Eddie: I think he was talking to you.  
Ellie: Shut up! Excuse me have you seen any maracas?  
Crash: And sugar butter!  
Director: CUT what is this? You guys are totally screwing up the script!  
Manny: Shut up fatty!  
Diego: Manny...it doesn't work that way.  
Ellie: Ok WE GET IT! Manny's fat, the director is annoying and Crash can't get a fudging line straight! You guys are just rubbing it in that I didn't ditch and marry the blue mammoth!  
Crash: YEAH STEVE WAS AWESOME!  
Eddie: HE WAS BLUE!  
Ellie: YEAH RUB IT IN!  
Diego: ELLIE! HE WAS BLUE! Instead you settle for Mr. Fatty FAT here!

Manny: My feelings…

Crash: Is overwhelmed by the fat. MOVING ON.


	5. Subliminal Msgs & Wilderness Adventures

Alrighty my IA minions! Back with more bloopers! And btw every other one has been uploaded by Christino and this is Izzy (just cuz we're so awesome you should know both of us) XD you can usually tell the difference between us...Thanks so much to all our supporters! (especially Jinney)

Note: Wilderness Adventures or WA is basically a Jackass type show we based off a couple of friends of ours where they do random stunts

Ellie (off set watching IA2): Do I look fat in this?  
Crash: totally.  
Ellie: Shut up!  
Crash: Yo asked me!  
Ellie: it was a subliminal message for you to say "No Manny's fatter"!  
Crash: Ohhh. NO Manny's fatter!  
Manny: I heard that! IM NOT FAT!  
Goes to Manny at snack bar  
Eddie: Sure Mr. I eat everything at the snack bar. Speaking of which...where is it?  
Crash: Dude! He ate it!  
Diego: Actually he sat on it.  
Manny looks under him  
Manny: oops.  
Christino: I'm gonna stop filming now.  
Peaches: Good idea.

Peaches: Hey guys! I just invented a way to stop global warming!  
Crash: DAMN IT PEACHES SHUT UP! WE'RE WATCHING WA!  
Peaches: but.. but..  
Eddie: When will you learn that no one likes a hippie  
Peaches: You know what! I try and try and put up with your damn crap all day long! and you tell me to shut up at least 69 times a day! My dad is a fatty from who knows where, my uncles are not even the same species as me, there is a slow annoying sloth who likes meracas and a fudging cooking saber tooth!  
Sid: whoa Peaches! YOU can talk?  
Peaches: FUDGE!  
Manny: That's it young lady! I'm not driving you home  
Peaches: Mom will you drive me home?  
Ellie: Of course I will sweetheart

While watching Wilderness Adventures.  
Crash: Eddie! Dude! Let's copy the melted wasabi stunt!  
Eddie: oh sweet!  
Ellie: I'm not sure it's safe...get Manny to do it.  
Eddie: Manfred, how would YOU like to take a bath in green jelly?  
Manny: ooOO! A bath in food? Thats my lifes goal!  
Crash: Just bike off this 20 foot high ramp into the jelly!  
Manny goes, misses crashes to the ground but knocks the wasabi onto him  
Manny:...this isn't jelly.  
C&E: Why isn't he burning!  
Diego: His fat's protecting him.  
Crash: dang it! Eddie, prepare the blow torch.  
Eddie: aye aye captain!

Manny: oh I like pie!  
Crash: I think it's time we find a new leader  
Eddie: I vote Crash!  
Crash: Damn it Eddie just because I made you do American Idol  
Diego: I vote Ellie!  
Ellie: I already have to deal with Manny and an annoying know-it-all! I wasn't ready for this much responsibility!  
Diego: ok ok what about Sid?  
Ellie: Are we really prepared for that Diego?  
Peaches: I vote myself!  
Crash: DAMN IT STAY OUT OF THIS YOU ANNOYING...  
Eddie: Hey man stop wailing on the kid...look you made her cry  
Peaches:...but I'm not crying...  
ellie: can we please just pick someone?  
Eddie: What about Diego?  
Diego: Finally! I was waiting for you to say that!  
Sid: What about my meracas?  
Buck: It could work  
Ellie: Alright  
Crash & Eddie: yay Manny isn't the face of the herd!  
Manny: I didn't have a say  
Crash: Shut up fatty


	6. I believe the bloopers are done?

Izzzzzy, I don't think they'll be able to tell the difference until we get to our new series, The life and times of the IA cast. XD because right now, all our bloopers are mixed in with one another, and I've forgotten which ones I wrote and which ones you did. =D

MBJ stands for Mr. Big Johnny, LITTLE JONNY'S DAD. WHO'S A TEACHER Yayyy…

Crash's Mom: Crasholomew J. Possum! Elizabeth Possum! Come here this minute!  
Eddie: (spits out water) CRASHOLOMEW? ELIZABETH?  
Peaches: That's their name... Edward  
Diego: EDWARD!  
Crash: Damn I hate my name...Ellie give me some of that Fukitol  
Ellie: Sorry it's finished. I've been going through 5 boxes a day since Peaches was born.

22.  
Manny: Diego? What are you doing here?  
Diego: sight seeing looking for Sid...same you  
Manny: Well aren't you noble?  
Diego: STOP! What did you say old man?  
Ellie: Oh Diego don't start this  
Diego: Stay out of it!  
Manny: Don't talk to her like...  
Ellie: Hey fatty I can stick up for myself  
Manny: Don't make me eat you.  
Ellie: I'm the only thing keeping you in this movie ...and I get paid more!  
Diego: Shut up with your stupid marital problems!  
Manny: ya well...you suck!  
Diego: Keep trying man.

23.  
Mr. Big Johnny: Ahem Peaches what is 23-393x123xapple?  
Peaches: I dunno...  
MBJ: YOU IDIOT!  
Crash: Dude! You made her cry!  
Peaches: But Uncle Crash I'm not..  
Crash: Dude just pretend to cry we can score big bucks with this!  
Peaches: *cries*  
Crash: Wait to go dude! Your sooo sued.  
MBJ: For teaching?  
Crash: No one likes education dude it's as bad as murder


End file.
